Often described as the round peg in the square hole. Or worse, the square peg that can’t even get into the round hole.
If this is how you feel, then it doesn’t mean that there is something wrong or lacking in you.
It’s just that the environment, the context, or simply the timing isn’t as yet a perfect fit for your way of thinking, for your unique contribution, for your life purpose.
Feeling out-of-place, over-looked, or not being understood, let alone not feeling valued or appreciated, is a horrible feeling. It can lead to feelings of loneliness and a sense that you don’t belong.
But it’s NOT true. It’s a delusion and you have to kick those thoughts into the long grass because they serve no one, especially yourself, as you matter PROFOUNDLY.
So what can you do? What are the strategies to choose from? First, you have to believe that NOTHING IS WRONG. Nothing is wrong with you, with other people, with the set-up, the whatever.
‘What is in the way, is the way’ was allegedly said by Marius Aurelious, a Roman emperor 160-180 CE. So, nothin’ new here! It’s a deep and meaningful realisation, that whatever you are facing is actually there to help equip you for further down the road in life, especially if it challenges you to dig deep and to cultivate new ways of thinking and being, or to be brave and to fight for things that matter. It’s not about coping – that’s just a defense, a treading of water. It’s about growing, which can only happen when we un-tighten, un-clench and start to embrace the issue full-on, or lean into the curve.
Like every test paper, you first have to be clear about what is being asked of you. The peg and the hole is a good analogy. If it feels like you are the square peg, and all that’s being presented is the round hole then it’s pretty clear that either you or the hole has to shape-up or you have to ship-out and walk away from the hole so that the way ahead opens up the possibilities of finding the square hole that is going to fit you well. Courage especially comes to the fore, time to face and to fight a few dragons!
If the feeling is more like you are a round peg in the square hole, which means there is a sense of something just not quite right, then you have the added option of staying put and using that sense of ‘slack’ to grow within yourself: opportunities for instance, to develop patience, resilience, understanding, a sense of humour and lightness, appreciation, creativity, etc. The list is endless, so it is for you to discern for yourself what is really being asked, like in the exam paper. Once you figure it out, the way ahead begins to clear.